“I will not boast in anything: no gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection! Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer! But this I know with all my heart- His wounds have paid my ransom!”
This line is from a hymn and recently popularized Praise and Worship song called How Deep The Father’s Love For Us. I popped a CD into the CD player after trying to find something to do following cancelled plans with some friends. On the way out of the gym as I scoured anything resembling a coffee shop (in a city that is terribly lacking of such an establishment), I was blown away by this deep and life-altering line.
I am what you call an “emotional person”; and after listening to this song and singing my lungs out, I just started to cry right there at the stoplight waiting to turn left into the Starbucks plaza. I had a realization that I’m not sure that I’ve had before.
I’m a loser.
I do not mean this in a false-humility (hopefully) or self-deprecating type of way, but really. I am a loser. I am not “winning.” I really love myself. I work out, and then I praise myself for working hard and become happy that I’ve seemed to make some physical progress.
I worship my mind. If I hear a “deep” concept that I think that I can wrap my mind around, I get smug and arrogant. If I feel like I can successfully argue a hard philosophical or theological point, then I do the same thing. I love feeling intellectually superior over as many people that I can.
This is how much of a loser I am: I worship my “social progression.” I see where I came from as a 16-year-old jerk to “where I am now” after 3 years of education outside of being homeschooled for most of my grade-school education. I make the connection that because I used to feel very uncomfortable in large groups of people (especially groups that include a noticeable amount of females) and now I feel totally comfortable in any setting, I am of a higher quality than others who may not be “so socially gifted.”
Even if all of these things were true and I was a workout beast, intellectual giant, and a social guru, the problem remains: I feel miserable. Really, I feel miserable. Especially over the last week, I’ve felt hopeless, helpless, and very lacking in joy. How can this be? I’m a Christian right? Right. That’s the point. I’m a Christian, and have the same feelings and inclinations that I did when I wasn’t. What does this mean? It means that the effects of the soul-saving and spirit-securing Gospel of Jesus Christ has not been driven to the deepest recesses of my heart… yet.
I want to dispel the myth that once ‘you’ become a Christian ‘you’ have no doubts, fears, worries, or massive shortcomings. You do. Not only do your problems not go away, you become much more aware of the many problems that you have. The difference between a Gospel-believer and a non-Gospel-believer is not at all a mitigation of these problems, but is simply the presence of the Holy Spirit and the power of Christ’s resurrection in life to defeat sin and to possess the ability to dispense infinite amounts of grace and forgiveness to anyone who needs them.
After contemplating why I feel so miserable, I’ve realized how little I boast in my weakness, and how equally little I boast in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. I love to bask in all of the previously mentioned idiocies of mine, and think about how much “strength” I seem to have. However, when something happens, such as finding out that a very close friend has been abused in extremely damaging ways, my feeble framework of self-preservation falls flat on its face with no recovery plan or 6-step program for self-improvement. I have nothing to say or anything to offer to someone that has hurt in ways that I have never hurt like that.
When I am boasting in my weaknesses, the healing power of God shines through clearly; but when I am not boasting in my weaknesses but smugly relying on worthlessness, there is no vital, vibrant, or restoring power of the Gospel in my lifestyle which plays out in my attitude. Nobody can be encouraged by someone who is self-focused in such an others-neglectful way.
As one of my more favorite pastors has said, “You can’t lead anyone to Christ and the cross if you haven’t been there yourself!” I want my modus operandi to be one of constant confession of my sin to God and to everyone around me, for the purpose of exposing my sin so that if anyone sees anything good in me, they will know for sure that it has nothing to with me, but God who is working in me to both will and to do His good pleasure.
I’m a loser.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me both was and is not in vain.
Deus Spes Nostra.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
7 Reasons Why Rain Is Grace From God
1) Rain is an evidence that God has not forsaken the land so as to withhold water from it (1 Kings 17:1).
2) Rain is necessary for growth. There can be no times of growth, physically or spiritually without times of rain. Physical rain is a reminder of that reality.
3) Rain is God’s evidencing that He truly does have a love for every person everywhere (Matthew 5:45).
4) We often tend to take sunny days for granted if there have been no seasons of rain. A time of rain is preparation for a time of rejoicing.
5) Rain is one of God’s means for displaying His everlasting promise that He will not send another catastrophic flood in order to destroy all flesh (Genesis 9:13-16).
6) The simple reality that rain cools off someone who is exercising or working outside points to it as a blessing that comes down from the Father of Lights.
7) While rain seems formidable and incredibly overpowering, it this occurrence that Jesus uses to display his sovereign power over nature in Matthew 8:23-27, and is also the means against which God is described as a fortress and protector. He is the Shelter in the midst of the storm (Isaiah 25:4).
2) Rain is necessary for growth. There can be no times of growth, physically or spiritually without times of rain. Physical rain is a reminder of that reality.
3) Rain is God’s evidencing that He truly does have a love for every person everywhere (Matthew 5:45).
4) We often tend to take sunny days for granted if there have been no seasons of rain. A time of rain is preparation for a time of rejoicing.
5) Rain is one of God’s means for displaying His everlasting promise that He will not send another catastrophic flood in order to destroy all flesh (Genesis 9:13-16).
6) The simple reality that rain cools off someone who is exercising or working outside points to it as a blessing that comes down from the Father of Lights.
7) While rain seems formidable and incredibly overpowering, it this occurrence that Jesus uses to display his sovereign power over nature in Matthew 8:23-27, and is also the means against which God is described as a fortress and protector. He is the Shelter in the midst of the storm (Isaiah 25:4).
Friday, May 13, 2011
For The Ladies
I've just been thinking about a lot lately (not that anything's changed), and I've been feeling that we as Gospel-believing Christians don't stress God's totally unconditional grace nearly enough. God isn't waiting to bless us until we get up and serve in the church, read our Bibles and pray more, or even sin less! If you're a believer, God has an INFINITE store of love for you! You can do NOTHING for Him to love you any more than he does! Trying hard to be good does NOTHING for us in the eyes of God: (Galatians 3:3) "Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"
This thought is the springboard for the application of truth that I want to share as I sit here (mini-update) after a tough week getting ready to return home to NH in 15 days. If you've had any similar experiences that I've had growing up in a Christian home, you've heard the camp meeting sermons, the youth group guys/girls talks, and the indoctrination that girls, often to the exclusion of guys, need to dress (however ambiguous this term is) "modestly." The reasons that they give for dressing "modestly" are all across the gamut; motivations for doing this range from not looking like a fast and loose woman, to not being a temptation in the eyes of men, to not comparing your body with other girls, to having a sense of self-respect by not wearing "slutty" clothes. I agree that all of those things are good reasons to dress with propriety, but I firmly believe that they all miss the crux of the Gospel point entirely!
I can speak for men in this way: when guys see a girl/woman in revealing clothes or ostentatious accessories (i.e. short skirt, more-than-needed makeup, low-cut shirt, gaudy jewelry, etc.) it does a number of things. First of all, it will probably arouse thoughts in him that he has no business thinking about you. This is real. Even if he is in a "relationship", he will still recognize and replay those thoughts in his mind at moments advantageous to him. While, by God's grace, many men have learned/are learning how to put away those thoughts, it is a VERY REAL struggle (even if they are way older/younger than you).
However, this point is not what I want to hammer home. This is what is important to me- when I see a girl that wears revealing clothing, it saddens me, not just because I see that she doesn't agree with my personal morals, but because I see that she may have a lot of insecurities that run FAR deeper than that she is just "promiscuous", or whatever the condemnatory word du jour is. It is the same principle for a guy (personal experience) that works out constantly and wears size 'XS' t-shirts to school or out with his friends. At the root, it is the same problem. We are sinful people, and sinful people like to get noticed. For a guy, it may be showing off his guns or his abs, and for a girl it might be showing the more-than-necessary cleavage or short short shorts. Both unbelievers and believers that dress in ways that bring undue attention to themselves have a Gospel problem, in that unbelievers don't believe that there is a way to be fulfilled inside other than exposing themselves for the attention of onlookers, and believers are insecure because they think that they need to do something to supplement the COMPLETE AND TOTAL soul-satisfying work of Christ on the cross by getting the looks, stares, nods, winks, or whispers from onlookers.
This is why I'm sad. There is an answer to the problem of emptiness! You don't need to compare yourself to someone else, get the attention of men (or women), or even just dress in a way that accentuates how good you may perhaps look. As a brother, I BEG that you would consider what I'm saying! Please! I know it's something that is very close to you, even possibly something that is a part of your identity as a person, but I don't want to see that the way you dress is more important to you than the THE TOTAL AND COMPLETE SOUL-SATISFYING POWER OF THE GOSPEL!!! You don't need the approving looks from guys that you walk past or the other girls you hang out with, because Jesus is so much better!
I ABSOLUTELY DON'T want you to think that God somehow likes you more if you wear Puritan dresses and have really long hair and don't wear makeup; because that's the same insecurity, but on the other side of the spectrum. What I want to communicate is that it is a blessing to my soul when I see women that don't let their shirt puff out when they bend over, because they understand that they don't need to direct attention towards themselves to feel deeply loved and satisfied in the deepest parts of their spirit. Instead, they love Jesus and they know that He loves them, and He is ALL.
I hope that I'm appealing on a deeper level than the self-focused "You need to consider your testimony." I'm fairly certain that we can't be rightly motivated unless it's out of love for the gospel in response for what Jesus accomplished there. God isn't happy with obedience to the rules that we've been taught our whole lives, God is happy when we love Him for who He is and live the minutia of our lives in response to the love with which He loved us. The message of complete self-affirmation in the Gospel is so much more powerful, and really, I'm convinced that it makes a lot more sense.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you think on these things :)
Deus Spes Nostra
This thought is the springboard for the application of truth that I want to share as I sit here (mini-update) after a tough week getting ready to return home to NH in 15 days. If you've had any similar experiences that I've had growing up in a Christian home, you've heard the camp meeting sermons, the youth group guys/girls talks, and the indoctrination that girls, often to the exclusion of guys, need to dress (however ambiguous this term is) "modestly." The reasons that they give for dressing "modestly" are all across the gamut; motivations for doing this range from not looking like a fast and loose woman, to not being a temptation in the eyes of men, to not comparing your body with other girls, to having a sense of self-respect by not wearing "slutty" clothes. I agree that all of those things are good reasons to dress with propriety, but I firmly believe that they all miss the crux of the Gospel point entirely!
I can speak for men in this way: when guys see a girl/woman in revealing clothes or ostentatious accessories (i.e. short skirt, more-than-needed makeup, low-cut shirt, gaudy jewelry, etc.) it does a number of things. First of all, it will probably arouse thoughts in him that he has no business thinking about you. This is real. Even if he is in a "relationship", he will still recognize and replay those thoughts in his mind at moments advantageous to him. While, by God's grace, many men have learned/are learning how to put away those thoughts, it is a VERY REAL struggle (even if they are way older/younger than you).
However, this point is not what I want to hammer home. This is what is important to me- when I see a girl that wears revealing clothing, it saddens me, not just because I see that she doesn't agree with my personal morals, but because I see that she may have a lot of insecurities that run FAR deeper than that she is just "promiscuous", or whatever the condemnatory word du jour is. It is the same principle for a guy (personal experience) that works out constantly and wears size 'XS' t-shirts to school or out with his friends. At the root, it is the same problem. We are sinful people, and sinful people like to get noticed. For a guy, it may be showing off his guns or his abs, and for a girl it might be showing the more-than-necessary cleavage or short short shorts. Both unbelievers and believers that dress in ways that bring undue attention to themselves have a Gospel problem, in that unbelievers don't believe that there is a way to be fulfilled inside other than exposing themselves for the attention of onlookers, and believers are insecure because they think that they need to do something to supplement the COMPLETE AND TOTAL soul-satisfying work of Christ on the cross by getting the looks, stares, nods, winks, or whispers from onlookers.
This is why I'm sad. There is an answer to the problem of emptiness! You don't need to compare yourself to someone else, get the attention of men (or women), or even just dress in a way that accentuates how good you may perhaps look. As a brother, I BEG that you would consider what I'm saying! Please! I know it's something that is very close to you, even possibly something that is a part of your identity as a person, but I don't want to see that the way you dress is more important to you than the THE TOTAL AND COMPLETE SOUL-SATISFYING POWER OF THE GOSPEL!!! You don't need the approving looks from guys that you walk past or the other girls you hang out with, because Jesus is so much better!
I ABSOLUTELY DON'T want you to think that God somehow likes you more if you wear Puritan dresses and have really long hair and don't wear makeup; because that's the same insecurity, but on the other side of the spectrum. What I want to communicate is that it is a blessing to my soul when I see women that don't let their shirt puff out when they bend over, because they understand that they don't need to direct attention towards themselves to feel deeply loved and satisfied in the deepest parts of their spirit. Instead, they love Jesus and they know that He loves them, and He is ALL.
I hope that I'm appealing on a deeper level than the self-focused "You need to consider your testimony." I'm fairly certain that we can't be rightly motivated unless it's out of love for the gospel in response for what Jesus accomplished there. God isn't happy with obedience to the rules that we've been taught our whole lives, God is happy when we love Him for who He is and live the minutia of our lives in response to the love with which He loved us. The message of complete self-affirmation in the Gospel is so much more powerful, and really, I'm convinced that it makes a lot more sense.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you think on these things :)
Deus Spes Nostra
Friday, April 15, 2011
Why The Bible Shouldn't Have Verses
I love Bible school. This week has been the week that many of us from Bethlehem College and Seminary students have volunteered at the Gospel Coalition Conference ’11 in Chicago. Earlier this week, I was having conversation with one of the seminarians, and we were talking about whether or not the advent of chapters and verses in the Bible are truly helpful. We both agree that it is convenient to have chapters and verses in order to reference different parts of this massive 66 book anthology, but because of chapters/verses, there have been some pretty detrimental consequences that have come about as a consequence of diving the Bible into chapters and verses. It also may be helpful to note that these demarcations of the text were instituted within the last 600 years, so they certainly not inspired by a long shot.
With some publications of the Bible, which were most of the Bibles that I grew up reading, the passages are printed with each verse parsed out as each its own beginning of a new paragraph. Reading and studying these Bibles can be dangerous, because it is very easy to look at each verse as its own thought, independent from its wider context. This can be especially dangerous when studying one particular doctrine, when one or two verses jump off the page; and being their own entity, they can be used to manipulate the intent of the passage to something that the author was not actually intending at all.
On the other hand, for someone to argue that verse delineations are not helpful at all is out of his mind. However, while there is much more to say on this, I believe there is a strong case to be made that in the realm of theological study, verses have not ultimately been helpful in understanding each passage for the message that it was originally intended to be read. It would be more time-consuming to consistently read larger portions of Scripture, but I would be interested to see if taking such an approach to Scripture reading would affect us differently? Who knows. Just some thoughts from a young Bible school student. I would love to read thought/opinions in the comment section below. Please share!
Deus Spes Nostra
Friday, April 8, 2011
Moment of Cogency v1.0
"Hanging on to every word you speak, because it's all that I need. Hanging on to every word you say, to light up my way. Even every little whisper I'm hanging on as if it were my life, I'm hanging on."
That's the chorus to a Britt Nicole song that I just listened to as we just finished up a really busy week here at the incubator for theological students. We studied the Pastoral Epistles on Monday, had 3.5 hours of lecture on Calvinism/Arminianism on Wednesday, and listened to 2 hours on Hebrews today. All while trying to write an 8 page paper on limited/definite atonement which was due today (my choice). I listen to that song as I process this week, pending conversations, and the coming trip to Chicago, and I realized that I don't believe a word of that song. I got up at 5:15 this morning to exercise; while I was in the middle of running, I realized that I'm wasting my life. I haven't been in the Scriptures to get to know God for months. I have not been hanging on every word He speaks. I've been just floating along, not affecting the kingdom or spreading the gospel. I'm wasting my life. My freshman year of college is almost over. I will be home for my first college summer in 50 days. I have not done anything to pour into other peoples' lives, I've just taken for myself and expected MOUNDS of grace and LOADS of service. This has all culminated in today's realization that I am not furthering the kingdom with my life and pursuing recognition to be seen and praised by men.
I'm just tired. I'm getting really sick of pursuing things that make me feel good and scrape hours, days, weeks, months, years off of my life, and I just need to grow up. The only problem is, the more of the onus that I put on myself to just grow up and dress for action like a man, the more I fail and get more miserable. What do you know, I guess I'm seeing that the gospel really is true after all.. To put it in worldly terms, I feel like I'm having a pre-mid-life crisis. I see friends that are playing college basketball, and I want to play college basketball. I see friends that are in a relationship, and I want a girlfriend. I see married couples that are learning the intricacies of living together and having little babies, and I want to get married and have kids. I know in my mind that those things are not for me right now, but I still want them all. The problem is that I see God's calling for my life as being something much more than that. I am gaining clarity on what I honestly can see God doing in me; but at the same time, I have such an aversion to pursuing excellence in those areas. I feel the draw to the world and to worldly things, but they are so transient! I just can't see myself totally pursuing worldly things, because it just seems like SUCH a worthless waste of time. I'm almost 20, and I haven't done anything with myself to present to God when I get to heaven. Maybe that's the point. Sometimes I think I never do enough, sometimes I think I try too hard and don't just rest in what God has done. I get jealous and sad about the fact that I can't sing like Putnam, play guitar like Thom, play basketball like Fields, make friends like Gerstl, think and read like Griffith, teach like Rigney, or love people like Schmitter.
I've hit the wall. I can't really find the energy to keep trying to run through. It's too hard. I have no self-control. I go on food binges of eating a whole box of Hot Tamales and another box of Milk Duds.. In the same day. I'm breaking down... but
Deus Spes Nostra
That's the chorus to a Britt Nicole song that I just listened to as we just finished up a really busy week here at the incubator for theological students. We studied the Pastoral Epistles on Monday, had 3.5 hours of lecture on Calvinism/Arminianism on Wednesday, and listened to 2 hours on Hebrews today. All while trying to write an 8 page paper on limited/definite atonement which was due today (my choice). I listen to that song as I process this week, pending conversations, and the coming trip to Chicago, and I realized that I don't believe a word of that song. I got up at 5:15 this morning to exercise; while I was in the middle of running, I realized that I'm wasting my life. I haven't been in the Scriptures to get to know God for months. I have not been hanging on every word He speaks. I've been just floating along, not affecting the kingdom or spreading the gospel. I'm wasting my life. My freshman year of college is almost over. I will be home for my first college summer in 50 days. I have not done anything to pour into other peoples' lives, I've just taken for myself and expected MOUNDS of grace and LOADS of service. This has all culminated in today's realization that I am not furthering the kingdom with my life and pursuing recognition to be seen and praised by men.
I'm just tired. I'm getting really sick of pursuing things that make me feel good and scrape hours, days, weeks, months, years off of my life, and I just need to grow up. The only problem is, the more of the onus that I put on myself to just grow up and dress for action like a man, the more I fail and get more miserable. What do you know, I guess I'm seeing that the gospel really is true after all.. To put it in worldly terms, I feel like I'm having a pre-mid-life crisis. I see friends that are playing college basketball, and I want to play college basketball. I see friends that are in a relationship, and I want a girlfriend. I see married couples that are learning the intricacies of living together and having little babies, and I want to get married and have kids. I know in my mind that those things are not for me right now, but I still want them all. The problem is that I see God's calling for my life as being something much more than that. I am gaining clarity on what I honestly can see God doing in me; but at the same time, I have such an aversion to pursuing excellence in those areas. I feel the draw to the world and to worldly things, but they are so transient! I just can't see myself totally pursuing worldly things, because it just seems like SUCH a worthless waste of time. I'm almost 20, and I haven't done anything with myself to present to God when I get to heaven. Maybe that's the point. Sometimes I think I never do enough, sometimes I think I try too hard and don't just rest in what God has done. I get jealous and sad about the fact that I can't sing like Putnam, play guitar like Thom, play basketball like Fields, make friends like Gerstl, think and read like Griffith, teach like Rigney, or love people like Schmitter.
I've hit the wall. I can't really find the energy to keep trying to run through. It's too hard. I have no self-control. I go on food binges of eating a whole box of Hot Tamales and another box of Milk Duds.. In the same day. I'm breaking down... but
Deus Spes Nostra
Friday, March 25, 2011
Maturing Into Manhood 1.0
It’s been a good 61 days. I’ve done quite a bit for one quarter: I have found out a possible housing arrangement for next year, hosted a massively huge party, added two serves to my ping-pong repertoire, failed a science exam, met with multiple counselors in order to further understand to what specific kind of vocational ministry God may be calling me, made four(ish) new friends, and again learned how ridiculously emotional I am. I have learned a lot about life through all of those things, but I feel especially burdened to share some thoughts on the last point of emotional self-control.
This is one of the many difficulties of growing into manhood – while in high school, I readily oozed emotion anyone and everyone that would listen; but seeing the need to protect others from the destructive nature of “emotional throw-up” (as coined by my roommate), I am being convinced that discernment is extremely valuable, especially when sharing life with women particularly. 1 Peter 3:7 teaches, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” This verse does not describe exactly how men are to interact with women, but we (men) have the moral obligation to observe and understand how our thoughts, words, and actions affect them. As I personally strive to live out the implications of this verse, I am convicted that I must be careful with the smallest things, even things like body language and tone of voice, to ensure that I do not lead any women to believe something other than what I am trying to communicate. This approach may seem like work, and it is. Being careful with actions and speech is not easy, and it takes discipline that is quite often difficult, but it is what God calls us young men to as we have not yet reached the point to pursue someone with the goal of moving from brother/sister to husband/wife.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 also addresses this issue, “Treat…younger women like sisters, in all purity.” Through all means of communication with women, I must not only make painstakingly sure that I know what I am communicating and how I am coming across, but I must pray that God changes my heart in a way such that I want to pursue relationships with the opposite sex like I would a sister. Pursuing a brother/sister relationship in all purity seems to indicate a certain propriety with which the relationship is approached; while there is obviously there is the physical aspect of “all purity”, I cannot imagine that the apostle Paul would have stopped there. While a husband and wife become one flesh physically (Genesis 2:24), there is a clear emotional connection that develops in the dating/engagement period that is the foundation on which the marriage is built. Paul is not only warning young men to be physically pure in male/female relationships, but is also warning us to not treat any woman in the way that when married, he would only treat his wife.
As my third and final point, I want to be perfectly clear that while there must be the utmost care and respect in man/woman relationships, I do not want to communicate that I think everyone should be celibate, or ignore the opposite sex, or anything like that. Agur says in Proverbs 30:17-18: “Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden (RSV).” When the time is right (there actually is a time that is right), it is an AWESOME thing to be able to pursue a woman in a more-than-friends relationship! It is amazing to see how a jerk guy –or girl for that matter– can be totally changed because of their ‘significant other’ in that way! But when emotions are shared before either side can act on them, from what I’ve seen, the only by-products are hurt and heartache, not to mention the incredible temptations and opportunities for sin.
I understand that my last 717 words cover these issues with extremely broad brush-strokes. They are just some of the thoughts I have had because of situations in my own life; and as I observe other younger men in their –immature– dealings with other younger women, and I feel like there is a general lack of guidance (or lack of submission to authority) concerning them and these pre-mature high school relationships. I would love some feedback in the comments section on especially this and the other posts on my manhood posts. I’m just another guy that has put of maturity for long enough and just trying to make sense of what God wants for young men as they/we transition from immature boyhood to a state of manhood that is able to properly care for a marriage, family, job, and ministry in a godly and manly way.
In this case, as always, Deus Spes Nostra!!
This is one of the many difficulties of growing into manhood – while in high school, I readily oozed emotion anyone and everyone that would listen; but seeing the need to protect others from the destructive nature of “emotional throw-up” (as coined by my roommate), I am being convinced that discernment is extremely valuable, especially when sharing life with women particularly. 1 Peter 3:7 teaches, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” This verse does not describe exactly how men are to interact with women, but we (men) have the moral obligation to observe and understand how our thoughts, words, and actions affect them. As I personally strive to live out the implications of this verse, I am convicted that I must be careful with the smallest things, even things like body language and tone of voice, to ensure that I do not lead any women to believe something other than what I am trying to communicate. This approach may seem like work, and it is. Being careful with actions and speech is not easy, and it takes discipline that is quite often difficult, but it is what God calls us young men to as we have not yet reached the point to pursue someone with the goal of moving from brother/sister to husband/wife.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 also addresses this issue, “Treat…younger women like sisters, in all purity.” Through all means of communication with women, I must not only make painstakingly sure that I know what I am communicating and how I am coming across, but I must pray that God changes my heart in a way such that I want to pursue relationships with the opposite sex like I would a sister. Pursuing a brother/sister relationship in all purity seems to indicate a certain propriety with which the relationship is approached; while there is obviously there is the physical aspect of “all purity”, I cannot imagine that the apostle Paul would have stopped there. While a husband and wife become one flesh physically (Genesis 2:24), there is a clear emotional connection that develops in the dating/engagement period that is the foundation on which the marriage is built. Paul is not only warning young men to be physically pure in male/female relationships, but is also warning us to not treat any woman in the way that when married, he would only treat his wife.
As my third and final point, I want to be perfectly clear that while there must be the utmost care and respect in man/woman relationships, I do not want to communicate that I think everyone should be celibate, or ignore the opposite sex, or anything like that. Agur says in Proverbs 30:17-18: “Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden (RSV).” When the time is right (there actually is a time that is right), it is an AWESOME thing to be able to pursue a woman in a more-than-friends relationship! It is amazing to see how a jerk guy –or girl for that matter– can be totally changed because of their ‘significant other’ in that way! But when emotions are shared before either side can act on them, from what I’ve seen, the only by-products are hurt and heartache, not to mention the incredible temptations and opportunities for sin.
I understand that my last 717 words cover these issues with extremely broad brush-strokes. They are just some of the thoughts I have had because of situations in my own life; and as I observe other younger men in their –immature– dealings with other younger women, and I feel like there is a general lack of guidance (or lack of submission to authority) concerning them and these pre-mature high school relationships. I would love some feedback in the comments section on especially this and the other posts on my manhood posts. I’m just another guy that has put of maturity for long enough and just trying to make sense of what God wants for young men as they/we transition from immature boyhood to a state of manhood that is able to properly care for a marriage, family, job, and ministry in a godly and manly way.
In this case, as always, Deus Spes Nostra!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Meditations at Children Desiring God 2011
So I am at the Children Desiring God conference, sitting here in a row of seats, observing people, eavesdropping on conversations, and restfully processing the experience of this weekend in a few moments of stillness. One thing that has stood out to me in this barrage of God-glorifying and others-focused teaching, and that is that we as Bible believing adults have the moral obligation to serve the young men and women that are growing up in the body through mentorship, discipleship, and voluntary acts of service. I’ve been becoming increasingly aware of the plight that the younger generations are faced with, as it seems as though there are more and more young men that are being mentored by their peers, not godly leaders. At CDG, I am one of the youngest men in attendance, and have met incredibly humble and godly men that have talked and prayed with me; and through these interaction, I have realized how vital the need is for the church to have those kinds of men to lead and help guide younger men like me, but especially through the middle/high school years. Looking back, one of the things I did not have as a junior higher was an older man in the church who was willing to model a sincere love for God and an equally sincere love for people. While this was God’s will in my life, I know that I would probably have been different given the presence of a mentor like that. As I compare my earlier life experiences with the things that I am learning and observing now, I can see that there are many cases where having a role model other than my father could have been very helpful to reinforce Biblical truth and encourage a totally surrendering love for God.
In applying this to my life as a green college student, I can see that I have not done very well at all when leading, or attempting to lead the younger men that God has placed in my life. Through these sessions and times of prayer at CDG, I have been encouraged to both seek out godly mentoring from men that can pour years of wisdom into my life through prayer and encouragement, and the opportunity to speak into the lives of younger men that also need direction as they experience many of the same things that I experienced at their age. The Biblical model of discipleship seems to point to the selfless discipling of the younger generation for the building up of the kingdom; and this is the reason I believe that (at any age) the mentoring of younger men, by more mature older men, is absolutely essential to the vibrancy and growth of any body of believers. While it may seem obvious, the only growth in any mentor/mentee relationship can only be harvested by the Creator. That reality should shape the approach to discipleship in a way that will leave the discipler completely reliant on the work of the cross in the life of the disciple through prayer and power of the Holy Spirit.
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