Devos and Deltas

North Africa is a massive desert, the Sahara Desert to be exact. Except Antarctica (which is dumb because it qualifies on a technicality), the Sahara is easily the largest desert in the world. The only variance in color in a satellite photo of North Africa is the sandy light brown color that on occasion moves to a darker brown. Dry sand and more dry sand.

There is one peculiar sight, however; the northeast section of the map where Egypt has been located for a few thousand years contains a lonely strip that fans out into the Mediterranean Sea in resplendent, life-bearing green.

That green symbol of vivacity are the banks of the Nile River.

How awesome is that! God decided to create North Africa a barren wasteland but stick the longest river in the world right in the middle of it. What are rivers? Water. What is a desert? Lack of water. Ancient Near East civilizations were oriented around this same river for the same reason. Without water, life is impossible.

Think with me for a second; who is Jesus? Jesus is the source of the water without which we don't have life (John 7:37-39). Without Him, we die inside. We shrivel and dry up, lose passion and fervor for the glory of God that we might have had before, thusly becoming ineffective for the kingdom and terrible heralds of the beauty of our Savior.

For example, the song "As The Deer" can be depressing at times because so often I cannot truthfully sing the lyrics, "As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after You!" Time and time again I don't want to read the Bible, I don't want to pray, I don't want to share my problems with others that care. But it's like my pastor once said, just because you don't think you are thirsty doesn't mean that you aren't. My heart is just like the deer- it always needs water; the problem is that I feed it motor oil instead. When I could humble myself before God and laying my burdens on him, I run to books. I run to athletics. I run to writing. I run to music. I run to food. I run to cleaning my house. I run to calling friends. I run to bed.

God is the water that will quench our thirst. I know what happens to my body when it gets racked with thirst: I get tired, sullen, irritable, bitter, sharp, rude, unloving, selfish, along with all kinds of other sinful attitudes. When I am finally able to replenish my bodily water supply, I feel like my whole persona changes for the better. During these periods of time when I have not talked to Jesus or read what He has to say to me, my propensities change towards all kinds of worldly ungodliness. I shy away from good, hard conversations with a brother, I listen to music that fills me up with more of myself, and I waste tons of time on selfishness; but all in all, I just. feel. dry.

I can't give you "Seven Ways To Have A Successful Devotional Life" because there are no seven ways to have a successful devotional life. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about. Your "devotions" should be just that- a time where you pursue God because you are DEVOTED to Him! "Devotions" isn't this magical spiritual weapon that we can wield to boost our sanctification points each day we get it done.

This is the bottom line: if you are concerned with your lack of time in the Word and prayer, don't just try harder. Trust me, it never works. Instead, ask yourself why you don't want to read the message from the creator of the universe to YOU. Ask yourself why you don't want talk to Him like you talk to your friends. Ask Him to change your heart to genuinely want to do those things. He's promised that if you ask, He will provide. At that point, take some time and start reading! If you are looking for suggestions, I suggest reading a chapter or two from the book of John everyday- one of my personal favorites.

Remember, the farther away from the Nile that your spirit runs, the more dry, cracked, and bloody it will become. Gross, but true.

Rejoice in the fact that God is our hope and He will enable those who seek Him!

.DSN.

Trigger Points

trigger pointnoun• Physiology & Medicine a sensitive area of the body, stimulation or irritation of which causes a specific effect in another part, esp. a tender area in a muscle that causes generalized musculoskeletal pain when overstimulated

--
(what a cute definition)

I have few really bad trigger points (tightly banded-together muscles that restrict movement of blood), but the worst one is in the middle of my back, behind my right shoulder blade. This trigger point moves back-and-forth over a particular bone (possibly a rib..? I have no clue) and makes a popping noise whenever I do anything strenuous involving my scapluar region. While I've had this problem for about a year now, I just found out recently that the situation could get to the point that those muscles, if not properly released, will begin to function incorrectly on a regular basis. The massage therapist that explained this to me said that I should not do any upper body exercises other than extensive stretching for a few weeks until the tightness can be released. She gave me a few stretches/techniques to work towards that end, so I guess it's up to me to see if I can make it happen. Gonna be a process.

Trigger points are released (and in my case are loosened) by applying very specific pressure on the tightened muscle cluster for an extended amount of time. The pressure needed to separate the banded muscles results in a serious amount of discomfort and pain. My muscles have banded together so tightly that blood is not able to pass through them; but hopefully, constant stretching and pressing will loosen the muscles and free my blood to finally flow through them again. It's a wonderful thing to have a real diagnosis and a helpful solution to fixing my problem, but in this case, the truth literally hurts. It hurts a lot.

Here's what I'm learning:

Over the last four months, God has diagnosed and began working on a very long-ignored trigger point in my life of growing into selfless leader and godly man. Right about mid-October of 2011 things were great. I had recovered from a very stretching summer, and I felt like I had stabilized myself fairly well. However, when God began to feel around this trigger point, I began to squirm. In this area of my life, the blood of maturity had never flown through the way that it should. Looking back, this group of spiritual muscles has been tight and abnormally-functioning throughout my entire life.

My divine massage has been uncomfortable, unenjoyable, even depressing at times- but to the praise of His glorious grace, I can say with honesty that the blood is starting to flow. Not that these muscles are completely operational (or will ever be), but looking at journal entries, songs I've written, blog posts, and conversations with friends,  I've been able to identify how God's pushing on this trigger point has led to my clarity of thought and changed life.

But I'm still in process... (obviously). Just the other day I had one of those moments where I thought, "Why do I do the same exact thing again and again after having learned the hard way like fifty times." I don't want to be the guy that never learns, but I guess that's sanctification.

Here's what I want whoever reads this to come away with:

Be encouraged! We all have trigger points. Blind spots, propensities towards particular sins, specific areas of struggle, we all have them. It has been helpful for me to think of the times of confusion and frustration as spiritual trigger points- tight muscles that have constricted so that the truth of the power, beauty, and satisfaction in God and His Gospel has stopped flowing, thereby parching my soul.

If you are His son or daughter, He will put His finger on those trigger points at some time in your life. It will hurt. You'll get discouraged. It will take time. Just remember that He is tenderizing your injured muscles so that they will finally be able to work again.

Expect the trigger points to get pressed on and worked out. Expect it. In time, I promise that He will make all of His true children more like Himself, and that's an awesome thing.

I know this is one of the most well-known Bible verses of all time, but I hope that this discussion gives it even just a little more meaning than before!

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. (Romans 8:28-29)

He is my hope.

.DSN. 

Keep Yourselves From Idols

The very first message I heard at Bethlehem Baptist Church in August of 2010 was preached by our downtown campus pastor, Kenny Stokes. He was concluding the book of 1 John and spent the message on the very last verse, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols."

He made a list of ways to identify idols in our hearts through a series of questions that one could periodically ask in introspection to gauge where his or her heart is towards God. 

I cannot stress this point enough: Identifying idols in your heart is not just an easier way to find problems and through hard word and discipline fix your stance towards God. All idols can tell you is that you have a heart that looks for joy everywhere else. Being able to identify the particular places of struggle simply give direction as how to pray more specifically for yourself. The reason I believe this list is really helpful is because, so often, we are self deceived when it comes to what are problems actually are. Through complete honesty, this series of 13 questions help to pinpoint some of the major areas of failure in your life. For it to be helpful, it is imperative that you are honest with yourself. You have nothing to gain by trying to sugarcoat your problems.

I made a Microsoft Word document and fill it out and save it every month (that I can). I put the heading "Idol Test" as a recurring event on my calendar so that I am reminded to fill it out every 30 days or so. 

Here are the questions:

1.  Who or what do you most highly value?

2.  By default, who or what do you think about most often?

3.  What is your pinnacle, or your highest goal?

4.  To whom, or to what are you most committed?

5.  Who or what do you love the most?

6.  Who do you trust or depend on the most?

7.  Who or what do you fear the most?

8.  Primarily, who or what do you hope in and hope for?

9.  Who or what do you desire the most?

10.  In whom or in what do you most delight? (If object is gone, then sin may be introduced)

11.  Who or what captures your greatest zeal?

12. For whom or for what are you most thankful?

13.  For whom, or for what purpose do you work or attend school?

I realize that there is overlap in these questions, but they really do help to isolate the problems. I do suggest filling these out periodically, and then looking back over the span of a few months and seeing how God has been moving and changing your life and your struggles. It's like a spiritual journal filled with the ways that God has grown you through seasonal struggles. 

Grace is an astounding thing.

God is our hope.

.DSN.

Valentine's Day: Worst Holiday Ever?

Gotcha. Catchy title, eh?

While Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July can be problematic because they might be a little awkward, they pale in comparison to the strange uncomftorbility (Uncomftorbility is a word, trust me) that is the Day of St. Valentine. This post a little longer than what could be considered "bearable". I wanted to address everyone (as you can skip to your section, if you so choose), as this is an important issue that I want to properly engage. I hope what I have here is both challenging and encouraging.

Here is my outline of address (follow the emboldened headings): 

I. Ladies in a relationship 

II. Men in a relationship 

III. Ladies and men not in a relationship. 

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If you have a significant other, one of you will probably care more about having this day be especially romantic than the other. That's the nature of personalities; opposites really do attract. And unfortunately, February 14th can become a difficult sticking point in the lives of many that are in relationships of any kind. Whether "non-dating", actually dating, seriously dating, engaged, or married, unmet expectations will create rifts and difficulties that will need to be sorted through and dealt with. Case and point: I just typed in the word "Valentine" in a Google search bar, and of the first four search suggestions, two of them were "Valentine's Gifts" and "Valentine's Ideas." Seriously? Nobody has any idea what to do or how to do it on VD.

Ladies: Chances are that you are going to hold Valentine's Day in a higher regard than your man will. Hopefully he will recognize that and do his best to be thoughtful enough about the situation to properly anticipate what will be the most meaningful for you. Maybe he will buy you a thoughtful gift; maybe he will be intentional about recognizing the things you do for him; maybe he will finally do that one chore you've been asking him to do since last Valentine's Day; or maybe he will spend the day/evening talking with you, pushing all else aside to give you his undivided attention; maybe he will do all of those things, who knows. But, as a man, I am a witness to the fact that he feels the pressure. Some men are genuinely better at following through in these kinds of high-expectation situations and some are not, but both of them know that you want the day to be different. I don't want to say what any one guy in particular should do, and I can't be the judge of whether or not he even tried (he honestly might not have), but all you can do is be reasonable. That's all. Think about what is realistic for him to accomplish with the money and resources that he has available to him and don't allow yourself to get upset if what you want does not match up with what he can practically deliver.

Most of all, I hope that you are aware that while Valentine's Day does have the potential to be really fun and exciting, don't look to your man to make all of your problems go away. He can't do it. He is limited by the fact that he is infinitely imperfect. If you want all of your problems solved, you are going to have to find a Bible, open it up, and bang your knees against the ground as you literally beg Jesus to be all that you need. And then when your boyfriend/fiancée/husband does actually do something, your expectations will have been more properly tempered, and you will be able to enjoy yourself a whole lot more.
With that being said, I am not saying that you shouldn't desire to have an out-of-the-ordinary awesome time with the man you love. You absolutely should. And guess what- he should too.

Speaking of which, Men- There are three kinds of us that I can categorize in my mind as it relates to romantic capacity: Man #1) the closet romantic who wants to preserve an austere exterior but really is an emotional teddy-bear; similarly, Man #2) is an open romantic who doesn't care about preserving any kind of exterior and lets it all hang out; Man #3) is that guy who really doesn't care about putting much effort into anything that isn't practically helpful or logically necessary. Man #3 has a hard time seeing why it matters to do something crazy and emotional when February 14th is merely preceded by February 13th and followed by February 15th. Man #3 can be romantic, but his flashes of brilliance are much fewer and further between than the times of Man #1 and Man #2. I have a word for all three.

Types 1 and 2: You may genuinely enjoy Valentine's Day. You enjoy planning what you're going to do, how you are going to surprise her, and seeing where things go. My only advice to you is to make sure that you serve her on her terms, not yours. Just because you don't loathe the idea of Valentine's Day doesn't mean that you are going to do a great job of serving your lady in a way that will be meaningful to her. She may feel love in a very different way than you want to give it. My encouragement is if you want to buy her something really nice but she just wants to have dinner and spend the night talking and/or watching a movie, don't spend $150 on a meaningless (TO HER) piece of jewelry, spend time giving her your undivided attention. If it would mean the world to her if you just took time out of your day making a meal for her that she likes and afterwards doing the dishes, don't do the talking-all-night thing. Get off your little tushy and figure her out.

Type 3: I understand that the only difference you see between Valentine's Day and Labor Day is that Labor Day lets you take the trash out a day late. I understand that you get aggravated with all the arbitrary and often unrealistic expectations that get thrown around at this time of year.
Here's the thing: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, BRO. Don't let your often-selfishly logical side take over; serving is not about what is easiest. It's not necessarily about what makes sense. It's about seeing what someone wants (especially the woman you love the most in the world) and doing your best to make it happen because you love her. Fall on your face and ask God to make you someone that loves others with your whole heart because that's what Jesus did for you. In humility, he considered others better than Himself... Even people that aren't as logical as He is.

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To the single people, I understand what's going on. At this point in the sovereign plan of God, I am one of you. I am not past any of this by any means. Valentine's Day is the most noticeable holiday on the face of the planet (followed closely by New Years Eve of course). I know, some have a harder time than others, and you might, in all honesty, be peacefully content in your state of singlehood.  I'm happy for you. But for the rest of the world, here's an encouragement: The commercials, the nauseatingly cute couples, the "happily ever afters" are never what they're all cracked up to be. Just because you are "single" does not mean that you are alone. You have community. You have fellowship. You have a Savior who you can talk to about literally everything, whenever you want! How crazy-awesome is that!? Don't spend your Valentine's Day wishing you could have someone else to call your own. Instead, rejoice with those who rejoice. Be happy for the couple that just got engaged! Be happy for the newlyweds! Be happy for the married couples that have been married for 25 years! Most likely, your day will come- at that point you will be so joyful that you won't know what to do with yourself and you will love and enjoy those that enter into your joy with you!

The other thing I also understand is that you may genuinely want to happy for the newlyweds. You may see how important it is for you to come out of your own selfishness and stop having pity parties all the time. You may see that but at the same time, not be able to do anything about it. It's hard. I know it is. Not only is it hard, it is literally is impossible for you to turn your heart from self-centeredness to God-centeredness. That's why we need to bang our knees on the ground ask God to satisfy us with who He is and what He has done. He's promised that He will. What's a promise from God mean exactly? It means that there's no possible way that it WON'T happen!

I'll finish up with this verse. I just read it again this morning, but Valentine's Day has given it a new meaning.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:19 ESV)

In who? In Christ Jesus. That's not only what the Gospel promises, but it's who the Gospel promises. He's the bridegroom that will be the remedy for all of our problems. We need God to radically change our hearts so that we believe this all the way down to the core of our bones. We can't muster up faith on our own.

He is our only hope.

.DSN.

Devastated By Your Love

"You take my heart and tear it all apart and leave me helpless but not alone. 

I'm devastated by Your love, like a tree beneath the wind

Broken for the building of a cross before all men. 

The devastation of your love is so hard to understand 

that pain and perfect love could possibly go hand in hand. 

I'm not able, but You are able to bring forth life through any suffering or loss! 

No I'm not able,

But You are able!

When I am shaken what's left standing is your cross." - Dennis Jernigan 

Watch the whole song here: Devastated by Your Love

It's popular nowadays to say that God is in no sense responsible for the acutely difficult times that we all face. I don't get it. When passing through valleys of brokenness and troughs of hopelessness, I can't conjure a more lovely thought than that the infinitely wiser than me Creator-God, my Father and my friend, has so decided to personally arrange my steps in a way such that I walk into an intensely thick fog with an end unseen.

I don't understand why everybody does not earnestly desire a God about whom they can say with the psalmist in all verity (Psalm 119:75): "I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me."

We can place the 'blame' for the cause of our affliction on our own bad choices. We can even place the 'blame' for the cause of our affliction on our own sinful attitudes. I don't know the circumstances that surrounded the crafting of Psalm 119, but the psalmist chose to say that in a very ultimate sense, it is because of the faithfulness of God that we are afflicted! I can in nowise consider a more trustworthy afflictor than the Savior that loves me with an infinite love! If He who sacrificed communion with the godhead so that I, John David Skinner could be adopted as one of His own sons, there isn't a chance in the universe in a moment of such comparative triviality, He would or even could ever leave me. 

I'm getting tired of trying to fill the God-shaped hole in my spirit with everything else. There is nothing else that is anywhere close to good enough. Jesus is so much sweeter.

He is my hope.

.DSN.

Heart Check (presented by Superbowl XLVI)

Yup, we lost. The last time I can recall being emotionally affected by a professional sports team was the last game the Patriot defense gave up a long bomb from Eli Manning to a miracle no-name Giants wide receiver and the Patriots' consequent loss of the Superbowl. Nice.

One thing I am trying to train myself to do is when I feel any emotion of intensity is to ask myself what is underneath the surface causing said emotion. I want to quit dancing around on the top of this pie crust and dive deep into the middle- the place where all thickness of meaning is... (I do love pie; and don't get me wrong, I loooooovvveeee pie crust, but come on now. You can't only eat pie crust the WHOLE time, you've gotta get to the substance of the thing!)... But anyways, I don't want to merely turn to a Bible verse that says "Don't be angry" and then tell myself to stop being angry- that doesn't fix the fact that my emotions are responding to a desperately wicked heart-sickness, and rote obedience can never solve that problem.

I had a conversation with a mentor of mine on Superbowl Sunday Morning and I told him how I was expecting to be affected by the outcome of this game. He responded to my statement by telling me that I could only be affected by the outcome of the game if I were idolizing one team or another. I believe he's on to something. The fact that I would knowingly be either favorably or adversely affected by the loss of the Patriots (as I have been) very well may show that I am hoping in something other than the cross of Christ for my satisfaction and joy. Initially, I bristled under his assessment, but as I went through the day thinking about what he said, I can see that taking sports (or any kind of competition) too seriously leads to an identity association (I am a "team x" fan) and the inevitable emotional roller-coaster with "team x" that is separated from the cross and the freedom to be emotionally stable because we are positionally secure. 

If you identify yourself as a "Patriots fan" or a "Celtics fan" and exhibit patterns of sourness in losing and excessive elation in winning, you genuinely might put too much hope in your team, expecting something that you neither can nor will never get from them. 

Now, I know that it's not wrong to be a sports fan. I actually believe that there is a feeling in sports that is an actual taste of heaven: when there are four seconds left and there is time for one play and the team is down by four points and the quarterback throws a hail mary pass and the receiver catches it in triple coverage and you go ecstatic, you have experienced a very other-than-you experience. This is the same other-than-you experience that is akin to standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon and the word "wow" isn't good enough. It's like going to the aquarium and seeing a shark, kingly in majesty, swim literally inches away from your face and again, "wow" is not good enough. A walkoff home run; a buzzer-beating 3 pointer; a 55-yard field goal with 0:00 left on the clock; they all elicit a response that is what I believe is a taste of heaven. Just like there is nothing that has to do with me when I see those kinds of jaw-dropping plays like the ones I have described, worshipping God with all of creation at the end of time will similarly have nothing to do with any kind of self-reflection but our elation will be completely focused on the object of adoration. 

All I want you to do is to really honestly consider your motives for why you love your team and the big game so much. "Why" is a wonderful question! The fact that I expected to be depressed after a Patriots loss and jovial after a win does not prove that I prepared my heart for sin, but it gives me quite legitimate grounds to consider the state of my spirit; and such an expectation provides yet another opportunity to turn my affections back to the cross and ask the Lord to make me understand what is going on inside and convict me of the sin that I know is always there.

We should thank God for yet another opportunity for a heart-check; in light of this discussion, the verses of Psalm 139:23-24 are a couple great things upon which we should meditate.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

(Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)

God is our hope. 

.DSN.