Life So Shallow

Christmas 2011 is here and gone.

I have just experienced my last Christmas as an American "Teen".

Time flies.

I've written a few posts about this kind of super-pre-midlife crisis type of moment, but I write this one with a little more circumstantial weight behind it. I think I'm at the point now where I'm realizing that I either start growing up now, or I remain a little boy until further notice. I'm seeing that such a step takes a lot of courage, and the ability to be ok with myself in the midst of situations that have not (and may never) ameliorate themselves are decisions that grownups have to make, and have to do it all the time.

I'm also at the place where with much more honesty I can see godly men and women to whom I look up live their daily walks of faith. As is the case with many, I see such a discrepancy between them and me and am prompted to think, "What must I do to get to the place that they are in their love for Jesus?" I feel stuck. But God is shining the flashlight of truth on new walls I have constructed that I didn't know existed that hinder me from moving forwards in that process of spiritual maturity. I'm being made aware of certain internal GPS units that wish to find some other way for me to mature as a young man and a lover and treasurer and Jesus and His Good News for my life.

It's strange. In some settings, I'm the "black sheep" or the "bad kid" who has always been rebellious and wanted to toe (or cross) the line in life. In other settings, I'm the life-long Christian who has always kept his nose clean, never having committed any of the "big" sins that so mark the lives of many unbelievers.

I praise God that He saved me from a life of drugs, sex, and alcohol; but just because I don't have any kids out of wedlock or have not developed an addiction for some illegal substance DOES NOT mean that I haven't lived or wallowed in a life of sin, and it also does not mean that I have lived a life of joy and fulfillment.

This thought struck me today. I was basically born a Christian. My dad has been a nice church music minister for almost as long as I can remember. My family has spent almost all our free time with other nice pastor families or nice church leader families of some kind. I played music for my nice junior high youth group and have led worship for the last few years as often as I can. I was homeschooled, went to nice Christian homeschool group, and played sports at/was affiliated with a nice Christian school for most of grade school. After high school I went right on to and now attend a nice Bible College.
I've most always listened to nice Christian music, read nice Christian books, heard nice Christian radio shows, my friends are almost all nice Christians, I know almost every major Bible story in the Bible and could beat a good majority of people in sword drills (my claim to fame as a youngster). Problem is, God doesn't care about nice. He cares about perfect. And who was perfect? Jesus. That's why "nice" doesn't (ultimately) matter.

Is that what it's like to be a good Christian? It shouldn't be. It can't be. I hope with all of my being that it isn't. If it is, this life is a cruel disappointment of cosmic proportions. Of all the things that I just listed, almost all of them could top the resumé of most Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses and Catholics. I don't want that kind of superficial ostensibly satisfying version of existence.

It's so shallow. There's nothing there.

How pointless it is. Live a good moral life to become a pastor of a church of, if you're lucky, a couple hundred people, marry a cute girl, have some nice kids, weather a few storms of life, but in the end, have a pretty good go of it. What a miserable waste. Are any of those things that I just mentioned bad? No they aren't! I'd love all of those things. But if that's as far as it goes, just think about it- what a nice waste.

Today (Christmas Sunday) in our weekly assembly of believers, I saw a group of people that love Jesus and want to proclaim His supremacy to all who will hear. They're Souled Out.

The thing that strikes me most about these people is that they feel the Christian life so deeply. They have a lot of problems. The only difference between me and them is that they experience the love of God in a way that makes them really enjoy life. There is a richness and a robust vibrance that can only be identified by those who have experienced it. I have had short seasons where life is a true joy and I love people and feel truth in my inward parts. But right now, and for the last few months, I'm having a harder time with it.

There's got to be more to life than just some clean, well-oiled machine of what we know as a nice brand of Cultural Christianity. That branch of Christianity must leave and never return. It's time for people that really find joy and celebration in the person and work of Jesus to step out in faith and (Scripturally) put God to the test.

Pray for strangely powerful things to happen. Pray for God to bring you through situations that secure your love to Him all the more firmly. Pray that he expose latent sin in your life that you never knew was there. Ask Him to do more for you or your friends than: "Be with him/her today, bless their day and their ministry." If that is the extent of your prayer life, it makes sense to me why so many people are so dissatisfied with the whole idea of prayer.

There is a dire need for men and women that don't become content with nice moralism and an attractive smile. If that's all there is, I have one thing to say:

We're missing out on so much more.

.DSN.