"Give thanks to Yahweh, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" (Psalm 136:1, ESV)
- 'Give thanks to Yahweh, for He answers the prayers of His children in His wonderful graciousness, for his steadfast love endures forever!' - (My adaptation of Psalm 136)
These last few days have been very difficult for me. I am fairly convinced that in my self-righteousness of denouncing certain sins, God has let the proverbial leash go a little bit in the allowance of sins that he lets me commit. I have found myself doing my daily tasks with almost a low-grade depression, almost wallowing in my sin and feeling sorry that I have not a stronger moral fiber.
Today, through the encouragement of a fellow classmate here at Bethlehem College and Seminary, I was encouraged to pray and meditate upon the prayer of Psalm 13: "Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death"(Psalm 13:3 ESV). My friend encouraged me, that when he struggled with the sins with which I have been struggling, he prayed and asked that God would open his eyes to see the heinousness of his sin, so that he would not continue in his it. After our conversation, we prayed, and we both again prayed the prayer of Psalm 13. A prayer asking God to even begin to reveal the true wickedness of sin can be very dangerous and painful. Even with this in mind, I still sought God's revelation (specifically asking for His mercy), because I want to be healed.
In His amazing providence, He ordered my steps in a way such that I would be listening to audio from 2 Kings while on work duty today. Chapter after chapter describes the perpetual faithlessness of Israel and Judah, but Yahweh is faithful to save them. King after king ignores the commandments of Yahweh and continues to build high places and Asherah poles. I began to see the repetition with which Yahweh punishes their wicked deeds, but again and again they are brought into exile, then God gloriously brings them back to their land. I began to become saddened at the repeated stubbornness and rebellion of Yahweh's chosen people; I saw that they would sin, be reprimanded, and harden themselves even harder, almost giving no heed to the past history of chastisement in the precedent set by their fathers.
However, after listening to 2 Kings 23, I felt as though a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. King Josiah finds the Book of the Law, and in response, he FINALLY destroys the Asherah poles, high places, the quarters for the male prostitues (that were in the temple of Yahweh!), and many other symbols of idolatry. I was so relieved that, even with a tremendous history of sin, Yahweh can still forgive His people! I saw this as an answer to my prayer of asking God to show me how bad my sin really is. While God did show me how despicable and deceitful sin is, in His grace, He impressed upon my heart the love He shows to great repentant kings of Yahweh, like King Josiah.
Through these next few days, I want to meditate on His grace and kindness and understand that while Yahweh ABHORS sin, He does have a steadfast love for those that fear Him, those whom He has chosen in love. While without His love it is impossible to love in return, I see that He gives little tokens of grace to His children in order to show us that even in dark places, He is still here, and will forgive with open arms. While consequences may still follow, I would rather spend one day in the house of Yahweh then 1,000 days anywhere else!
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