Marriage: Displaying the Infinite Wisdom of God Through the Intricacy of the Human Mind

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS BASICALLY PURE SPECULATION. I HOPE YOU AREN'T TOO SHOCKED.

As a 20-year-old guy, I do a fair share of thinking about marriage. I wonder what being married is like. I wonder how my life will change. I wonder what pieces of advice that I've heard concerning marriage have actually been blown way out of proportion. I wonder what things I will thank my parents for teaching me. That last category will probably be the largest.

In one of these marriage-philosophizing sessions with a few housemates, we began to think and talk about the depth of the human personality. Have you ever heard men and women who have been married for 25+ years say that their partner is still an enigma to them?

Think on that for a second.

If two people have been married longer than 25 years and see each other mostly every day--excepting occasional trips away from home--chances are that they have seen or interacted with each other for over 9,000 days. For two people who have been married longer than 40 years, that number is upwards of 14,000. 

That's incredible.

If you are married, you know what that means. As an unmarried person, I haven't the slightest clue. That idea of being with someone for every day that passes is mildly unfathomable to me. Not that I couldn't or won't be able to do it, but I don't have the categories in my head to try to have an understanding of what 9,000+ days entails. All I do know is that I'd probably get to know my wife really, really well. I can't imagine being surprised by anything. But there's the rub.

From what they say, I still will be surprised.

Probably not like a, "Babe! I can't believe you did/said/thought/felt that! I didn't bargain for this!" (though there might be an element of that) but instead, probably more of a, "Babe, I still don't understand you. I don't know how your mind fully works. I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

It's hard to see how that response could actually happen after 9,000 days of marriage, but these married people are saying it, and they've been married for way more days than I have, so I'll take them at their word. 

Thinking on this subject led me to broaden my perspective and take into consideration my interactions with everybody. If someone has the ability to be with and observe just one other person for over 9,000 days and still not have a definitive corner on him or her, how do I think that I can rightly understand someone who I see a few times a week for a couple semesters? 

I am a fool to assume that I have someone completely figured out, when I have no idea what is going on on the inside. Not only do I not know what's going on on the inside, I wouldn't ever be able to, no matter how honest, open, or truthful they are with me. The human mind is so deep, so murky, so full of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and years of experience, that I need every second of every interaction to get a better handle on how to understand how any given person interacts with the world around them. They could tell me everything that they could possibly think to tell me, even their deepest darkest secrets. But even as a 20-year-old interacting with other young adults, I will never be able to unpack 20 years of life. Ever. And as they grow older, it only gets harder. The more life that gets lived, the more there is to that person to unearth. 

I don't mean to say that I can't know anybody really well. That's obviously possible. In living with someone for 9,000 days, I hope that I will get to the point that I will know what my wife is thinking most of the time. I hope that we will deeply be able to sense and feel each other's seasons of sorrow; I hope that we will also be able to heartily rejoice with each other in times of truly contented happiness. I  hope those things, but I am confident that they will happen, as marriage is a process of becoming one in body, mind, and soul. But, we will never attain full oneness.

But that's another blog post. 

Where's God in all this? Here He is:

As my eyes are opened to see that my God is great enough to create a person so complex and so intricate that even a lifetime of study will never plumb the depths of his or her mind, I realize how much wiser and deeper His thoughts are than mine. I can't comprehend creating something as mind-blowing as a human being.

For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.
(Psalm 103:14)

Humans are so remarkably unique, yet we are dust to Him. I can't completely figure out a person even if I spent the rest of my life studying, but we are not a challenge to Him. He looks at us and smiles. We're simple creation to Him. I see other people as intriguing, mysterious, and often intimidating, and He sees us as lost sheep without a shepherd. I see Goliath, and He sees a helpless little zygote who He decided to let live one day.

God is one to whom my future is worth entrusting.

These people who He decided to create are worth the time. They are worth the trouble. They are worth the pain. They are worth the hurt. They are worth the love.

They are worth it because He is worth it, and whatever He decides to fashion is worth it. In learning about His creation, my understanding of His great faithfulness and sovereign hand is only expanded; my ability to see and savor my God is enhanced, the more that I see and savor the things and people that He has made.

Through knowing His peoples, I get to see Him just a little more clearly.

.DSN.